BJ
This past week, my son-in-law (we call him BJ) shipped out to Afghanistan. When BJ called to tell me that he was volunteering to go, I wanted to hit him over his head. I understand getting orders to go but to volunteer? But then I remembered what one of my cousin told me. “It’s like being a surgeon and never doing one surgery.”
This is what these young men and women train for…to go to war, if necessary, to protect our freedoms and the freedoms of others. And I’m proud and honored to have them serving our country.
BJ is doing his third tour in that region of the world. As his mother-in-law, I’m proud of him and as a mother, I’m proud of my daughter and their family. I’m also sadden to see him leave behind my daughter and their three children. And I worry about his safety.
I was brought up in a military/state department household but it is never easy on a military family when one spouse goes into a war zone. Besides the obvious safety concerns, the spouse leaving misses out on all of the family’s daily life. The spouse staying behind must handle everything. Children change so fast during this relatively short period of time.
My daughter, Niki, was never brought up in the military but she has embraced the military way of life, moving across country to different bases, giving up her career so that BJ can have his, and making sure the schools understand the needs of her children.
Their kids have done well with this way of life. I think a lot of it has to do with Niki’s attitude which reminds me so much of my mother’s. She
BJ, Will, Joshua, Sophie and Niki
treats it like it’s a very normal occurrence. Therefore, there is nothing to be alarmed about. At least that is the way it looks from the outside. Inside, I know it is a very different story.
I’m glad to say this will be BJ’s last tour as he is nearing the end of a 20 year career in the Marine Corps. He has risen from being a young recruit to a Gunnery Sergeant in that time and is well respected by his peers.
What I’m most proud about BJ is how he has matured over the 17 years we have known him. At first I wasn’t too sure he was right for our daughter or what type of father he would be. But BJ has grown in his chosen role of husband, father, and provider. He treats our daughter with love and respect. And you only have to look at his kids to know that he loves them dearly.
As their family deals with this separation, I’m glad there is Facebook, Skype, Face Time, text, and email. This new technology makes it much easier for them to stay in touch and interact as a family on a daily basis instead of waiting weeks for that letter or two to arrive.
In the meantime, we pray for his and his unit’s safe return in the near future.