(Running) + Setbacks = Life

Posted on November 3, 2010 by Betsm51

Setbacks can be very frustrating. And it doesn’t make any difference whether those setbacks are when you are training for a race or striving towards a goal in your personal and/or business life.

My newest setback in my training has been an IT Band that has decided to be extremely stubborn in loosen up regardless of the specific exercises I’ve been given to do. It has been causing me extreme pain if I ran more than 2 1/2 to 3 miles. And now I have been told to rest it and only walk for the next four weeks.

As I have been walking, I have been analyzing how I have managed to stay positive overall and focused on the end goal. What is it that keeps me going forward with each new setback? And with each new setback, have I built on what I’ve learnt from other setbacks I have had? Or do I use different techniques for different types of setbacks or is there an universal set of tools? 

In these long walks, I have realized that having the right tools in place can lift you up and out of a slump. And I have also continued to refine my “tools” with each new setback which makes that new situation even more manageable.

Here are my tools from my toolbox that so far have kept me focused, positive and moving forward:

  •  If it continues to hurt or if it isn’t working, it is time to call in professional help.
  •  Find a coach to help you set specific, measurable goals.
  •  Follow their instructions, suggestions, and/or guidelines.
  •  Lean on your support group. If you don’t have one, find a group of people who have the same end goal as you do.
  •  Spend time with that group as they will keep you focused, accountable, and. more importantly, make you laugh.
  •  That same group will make you see that you aren’t the only one with that problem.
  •  Read how other people handle their setbacks such as 9 Tips to Cope with Negative Situations.
  •  Remember that life is an adventure. And no adventure has ever gone from A to Z without some highs and lows.
  •  It is always okay to adjust your direction as long as you aren’t just coping out.
  •  And most important, enjoy the journey along the way.

Though I’m still learning how to deal with this latest setback, my support group has again been that shining light for me. I wish I could say that as each new setback has presented itself, I have learnt over time how to deal them perfectly by now. Unfortunately, I don’t think I do. But I am dealing with each one better and/or a bit differently depending on the situation. And as I have mastered new tools, the process gets a little bit easier so those setbacks don’t overwhelm me as much.

The more tools we have in our “toolbox”, the easier it is for all of us to continue on our jouney. Please share with us how you deal with your setbacks.

Posted in 60by60, Goals, Journeys, Running | 2 Comments

Number 2 Crossed Off – Ziplining

Posted on October 12, 2010 by Betsm51

My many thanks to Cindy Bingham, my Sunday running buddy, for sharing her free trip to Whistler, BC, with me. It allowed me to cross off ziplining from my list. Her free trip included a fabulous stay at Nita Lake Lodge, two tickets to zipline with Ziptrek Ecotours and two tickets to ride the Peak to Peak Gondola.

Here’s just a taste of what it is like to zipline. Ziptrek Ecotours is all about your safety while they share their knowledge of the mountain and the ecology of the area. Oh, and they do make sure you have fun! I recommend them highly. 

I’ll upload pictures of Whistler, our ride on the Peak to Peak Gondola and, of course, more ziplining in my album on Facebook. This area is more than beautiful, it is breath-taking.

Again, thank you, Cindy, for sharing this with me.

Posted in 60by60, Accomplishments, Goals | 13 Comments

Number 23 Crossed Off – Grandpa’s books

Posted on October 6, 2010 by Betsm51

I never knew my maternal Grandpa. And I rarely heard stories about him as I was growing up. All I knew was that he died in Bilibid Prison in Manila, PI during World War II.

Most of what I’ve learnt about my Grandpa was from reading old records and from my Aunts before they died. But through his collection of books, I have found a man that was well educated and well read on a variety of subjects.

My Grandpa had joined the Army in Philadelphia, PA as a young man and had gone to fight in the Spanish American War. During that time, he fell in love with being in the military, living in the Phillippines and with Inay, my grandmother. They had four daughters and three sons which they raised near Naval Base in the Phillippines.

When the war came to the Phillippines, my Grandpa went to fight with the Americans even though he had already retired from the Army. My Uncle Henry followed him. Both were captured by the Japanese on Corregador Island. Grandpa spent the last years of his life in Bilibid Prison. Uncle Henry survived the war though he was shipped to Japan on one of the Hell Ships to work in the mines.

My grandmother and her daughters left their home to hid out from the Japanese. And somehow, I was never told how, his four bookcases with all of his books survived the war even though the family home had been burnt down just as the war was ending.

Through my mother, I inherited one of the four bookcases and all its contents. What happened to the other three bookcases and the books I don’t know. But I do know that the majority of my 20+ cousins don’t owned one of Grandpa’s books.

His books are a legacy that each of us should have if we so desire. His collections of books ranged from medical, fiction, non-fiction, classics, biographies, history to military. Most of them have his bookplate in them and a few had his own name written in ink, in what I suspect, his own handwriting.

Though it has been hard to ship these treasures to my cousins who want a book or two, I’m pleased I am able to share them. But I must admit that each time I have had to go through his collection of books, I find a new treasure that I just can’t part with.

Do you have a legacy from your family? Is it something that can be shared with your extended family? And did you have a hard time parting with it?

Posted in 60by60, Journeys | 3 Comments

Stepping Out Of My Comfort Zone

Posted on September 22, 2010 by Betsm51

The media often talks about how a story has legs or not. What that means is does that particular story have other interesting aspects or can it be spun so that the public’s interest is pique to hear more.

That is what Finnair Quality Hunter’s position had for me, legs! 

When I first read the article, I was all excited. My mind was in a whirlwind. How cool would it be to be able to travel for free. If I was asked to join their team, I wondered what cities and countries I would visit. I do have favorites as I’m sure everyone does. But, I would be happy just to be on their team as traveling has always been a highlight of my life.

Then, cold, hard reality set in. You know, all those doubts and questions that roll around your mind. The “oh my gosh, I can’t do this?” “Are you crazy?” “You have to write what for them?”” How often?” “It would be nice but (feel in the blanks).”

But once I got over that reality, the excitement and the lure wouldn’t go away. It kept creeping back into my mind and imagination. The possibilities of being able to run with this kept surfacing. And I knew I would throw my own story into the mix. I set the date to submit my application several days before Finnair’s cut-off so that I wouldn’t miss their deadline. The date for me-Tuesday, September 21, 2010.

That was the easy part.  The hard part was yet to come.

Number 28  on my list: Learn to share my goals.

My normal way would be to tell  a close friend or two in an off like manner and leave it at that. I have never been good about asking friends and/or acquaintances for help or in sharing my goals. But I needed help. I needed people to “like” my My 60 by 60 fan page. So now, I was in a whole different ball game. I, myself, was giving this goal of mine a larger “story”  or “legs” than I normally would do. And I was way out of my comfort zone.

Even though my comfort zone was being stretched, it was time to test that limit, that murky “oh my gosh, you aren’t” feeling. The one that is screaming at you to come back to that “warm cocoon” place.  

Taking a deep breath, I sent email messages to my friends on Facebook announcing to them, and essentially to the world, to not only “like” my My 60 by 60 fan page. but what I was planning to do. I found out that being in that murky place doesn’t even compare to how truly humbled I feel and still feel to all who did “like” and the many who “liked” without being asked. Thank you!

I did met my goal of submitting my application to Finnair. But while submitting my application, I, again, wanted to run for cover as that “oh my gosh, you aren’t, hyperventilating” feeling rushed in. I only knew that if I didn’t submit my application, my story would lose its legs. And I didn’t want it to end, yet.

As to whether this story of mine still has a leg or two left, I won’t know until next week. But I did learn that by stretching oneself a bit has an amazing influence on your psyche. And none of those feelings would have been possible without all the support from my family, friends and acquaintances.

Thank you all for being a part of my story.

Posted in 60by60, Goals, Journeys | 5 Comments

In Search of Quality

Posted on September 21, 2010 by Betsm51

Have you ever actively searched for Quality? What does Quality mean to you? And how would you know when Quality is right in front of you?

The reason I am writing about Quality is my friend, Betsy Gray Talbot at Married with Luggage, shared a link on FaceBook called “ReThink Quality =  The Quality Hunters“.   Finnair is looking for four people to travel for 61 days to various parts of the world in search of quality. Those four people will have to blog and tweet about their various daily encounters and experiences. And I’m hoping that I will be asked to be one of those four people.

So over the last few days, I have been thinking about what Quality means to me.

I have never thought to go in search of it but to me, Quality means above and beyond excellence. I have seen it, experienced it, and have appreciated it so much that that type of Quality has left an inherent impression on me that even years later, I still remember what those experiences felt like. Quality comes in many ways and not all are from face to face encounters. Some of them come from behind the scenes services that you never see, in just a gesture or in the beauty of a place.

Once I was standing in the lobby of a hotel with a group of people and we were discussing going out. But I had to run back to my room to drop off a shopping bag. One of the bellman overheard this and immediately offered to take my bag up to my room. That was impressive but what made this small gesture one of excellence, he addressed me by my name and I had only been at this hotel a day. Excellent Quality. In fact, everything about this hotel and their service was above and beyond excellence.

Quality also comes in other forms. It can come in the beauty of a place. I lived in India, one of the poorest countries in the world at that time. But the beauty of the countryside, the people, and their temples made a lasting impression on me.  Though the country is poor and their people are poor according to our standards then and now, they do understand customer service and welcome you to their country from the passing smile on a face, to a helping hand, to the grandeur of their biggest tourist attraction, the Taj Mahal.

Then there is the type of Quality where you are a part of a captured audience. Recently, I was on a 12 hour flight and just getting over a cold. Once in the air, I promptly fell asleep for a few hours. Unbeknownst to me while I slumbered, the flight attendants silently walked up and down the aisle, quite frequently and quietly, checking on their passengers’ comfort. As I was waking up, the flight attendant asked me if I would like a drink or my meal since I missed their regular cart service. I didn’t have to use my call bell or go to the galley to ask. This flight was all about our comfort and attentively taking care of our needs even though their primary focus was on our safety.

I may not get asked to be one of the four Quality Hunters or even get an interview, but thinking about Quality and what it means to me has brought back a lot of great memories. Those memories have brought a smile to my face and an appreciation as well that always needed nudge to make sure my customer service I provide to my own clients is above and beyond excellence. 

But if I am asked to be one of the four, I am all theirs for 61 days. And then I can cross off Number 30 on my list.

Posted in 60by60, Goals, Journeys | 1 Comment

Number 22 Crossed Off – Mom’s China

Posted on September 20, 2010 by Betsm51

Mom's china pattern

My Mom’s china was something we grew up with. The china was a source of pride and joy for her. For all of the major holidays and dinner parties my parents hosted, the various plates to bowls were carefully placed on the crotchet tablecloth table at each seat. At each side of the settings were the various forks, knives and spoons for the different courses that were being served.  Then the different crystal glasses came out from water, to wine, red and white, to champagne placed in their appropriate order just above the plates. By the time our table was set, even the Queen of England would have been proud to sit at my Mom’s table. 

The china was a gift from my Dad to her on one of their first anniversaries. By the time I was 4 years old, Mom added to the set and it grew to a service of 16 place settings. And, yes, one of the houses we lived in the dining room table was big enough to set out all 16 place settings though the table cloth was not big enough for that table.

The table cloth was one that my Mom crotched herself. It was also the one when I was very little that I got creative and cut out some

Famous Tablecloth

 of the little flowers. Yes, I did get into trouble for being so creative.   

I was fortunate in that my mother gave me both the china and the table cloth. But as I have now packed and unpacked this china several times and put it in my own china cabinet, I know I will never use it. One of the reasons is I’m scared I’ll break a cup, a plate, or a bowl. And another reason is that the china was made during the time that the US occupied Japan. Stamped on the bottom of the

Made in Occupied Japan

majority of the pieces is “Made in Occupied Japan.”

So what to do with 16 place settings of china? I certainly wouldn’t sell it.

I know I will pass this china down to my own daughter who will in turn pass it down to her own daughter, my granddaughter. But neither needs 16 place settings either so I needed a better solution than just that.

I decided that my sister should also have a part of this. She can pass it down to her own daughter and her daughter in turn can pass it down to her daughter, my sister’s granddaughter. But more than that, I’m sure my sister has her own different memories about this china to also pass down as well.

Is there something in your family that brings back memories of your parents? Memories that are different from your siblings? That something special that was a part of your family tradition?

Posted in 60by60, Accomplishments | 1 Comment

The Not So Fun Stuff

Posted on September 13, 2010 by Betsm51

I wish I could say all of my goals for my 60 by 60 list are fun stuff. But they are not. Some I know I will downright hate to do. But I put them in there so that I would accomplish them as I have been putting them off for several years now.

What I didn’t put on my list and have just recently finished was going through all of my financial paperwork that I tend to accumulate. I had about 6 to 7 boxes of paper that has “stuff” that I felt I had to keep. Everything from credit card receipts to utlity bills to old bank statements with checks. And I’m not just talking about from a year ago. I really hate to tell anyone this but from about 2000.

Now why I would need all of those receipts, I’m just not sure. I wish I could say it was because I’m concerned that I may one day be audited by the IRS. Unfortunately I can’t. I was audited in 2006. So if I was audited in 2006, why do I have receipts from 2000?

The weekend I finished the process of purging, it felt like a cleansing. I’m now down to two boxes of financials and that is where I plan to keep it at.

Now you’re probably wondering how I can say this. Yes, each year we have to do taxes and there are always some important paperwork we need to keep.

To the rescue…the Internet. This world wide web is a very wonderful thing. And it has clouds. Yes, wonderful, fluffy, huge, cumulus clouds where you can store all of your information. And that is exactly what I plan to do.

I’m told I can set up folders in these clouds whereby I can keep that information. No longer will I be storing stuff like receipts, old bank statements, old canceled checks in boxes in my basement. But then, I won’t be storing those kinds of paperwork in the clouds.  I’ll only be storing exactly what I need to keep for tax purposes besides the “very” important papers we all need to keep. The rest will be going into my handy shredder.

Do you find you need help with organizing and purging? I highly recommend Simply Placed. I have used their products and every chance I get, read their blog posts.

So are you finding that you are keeping more information than you need? And have you thought about keeping that information in the clouds? If so, have you? And what challenges have you found storing your important information this way?

Posted in 60by60, Accomplishments, Goals | 4 Comments

Happiness is a State of Mind

Posted on August 31, 2010 by Betsm51

Happiness! We all strive for it. I even have it on my 60 by 60 list. In fact, it is #31. I wrote…Wake up each morning filled with happiness and joy, knowing this day will be even better than the previous day. And I do wake up each morning now asking myself how I’m feeling.

Please know, it’s not that I’m unhappy. It was just some days were filled with a lot of happiness and joy. Then there were some days that were downright dreary. And there were days that were just ho-hum.

Yes, we could say that is the way life is. But I don’t want to live my life with some of  my days being dreary or ho-hum. I want HAPPINESS to fill each minute, second of my day. I want each day to be better than the last. In fact, I am now demanding that of myself.

I know this sounds woo-woo or, maybe, too out there for some. But I truly believe that we have the power to change what goes on in our mind. It is our mind and we do control it.

Now, I’m not going to tell you how many words go through our mind each day or how many thoughts we tell ourselves each day. Because I really don’t know. I’m only concerned with what goes on in my mind. And let me tell you, my mind is pretty active.

Conversations with myself are a constant. Some of it good, some of it just weird, and some of it, I need to downright change.

I believe we all have these same types of thoughts, maybe just a different variation. All of our conversations with ourselves are basically the same and most of it is negative stuff about ourselves. Conversations like “I’m too fat”, “I’m ugly”, “I’m not worth it” and that talk goes on and on around in our mind.

So I’ve taken my mind in hand. I am now very careful on what I’m thinking. I try to monitor it all the time. And when I think a negative thing, a thought or find myself having one of those negative conversations that I don’t want in my mind, I say to myself…”cancel, cancel.”

The reason for this is I want my mind to know that that thing, thought, or conversation can’t take root in there. And I don’t want any sucker roots either. I then replace it with a positive or the exact opposite thought depending on what I was thinking.

Has it been working? To be truthful, some days are easier than others. But I keep working on this. I continue to wake up each morning, asking myself.  If I’m not feeling that happiness, then I repeat often to myself, “I’m happy.” And each and every morning as I do this, I find it is easier to feel that happiness and it starts to bubble up inside me.

During the days that I find myself slipping or things are going sideways, I go back to repeating the same phase over and over again. “I’m happy.” And that wondrous feeling of happiness fills me up.

I know that by doing this each and every day that one day I will wake up and I will have found that for a long time, I have felt and have lived in my own world of happiness.

Do you allow your mind to dictate your well-being? Or are you mindful of what goes through it each moment? And what do you do that keeps you in the right frame of mind?

Posted in 60by60, Accomplishments, Goals, Inspiration | 2 Comments

The Road to Your Goals

Posted on August 23, 2010 by Betsm51

Do you have problems on the road to your goals? That path that seems to meander as you try to reach your goals? Are your goals so big that the path seems to take forever.

I do….but running has taught me to be a bit more patience and to try to learn how to break it down into smaller goals. Betsy Talbot, my running buddy, reminded me of this just the other day. We were reflecting how we would never thinnk we could run the distance we need to when we start out.

As most of you know, I am again training for a half marathon at the end of September. My goal is to be able to run/walk it without injury to me. The last two I have run, I had a stress fracture on my right sesamoid bone (this is where you put all your pressure on your foot whether you walk or run) and to my left IT band (it’s a tendon that is attached to your hip bone and runs down the outer side of each leg to right under your knee cap). Both are very painful and take some time to heal. So now that I’m back to training and getting my running miles up, I play mind games on myself.

Let’s take last weekend. The goal was to run 7 miles! But the thought of running 7 miles (yes, I know I just did a 1/2 marathon and that it was 13.1 miles) was enough to want to go home and crawl back into bed. But I told myself that I had already ran 7 miles this week. Yes, I did 3 miles one day and 4 miles on another but it was 7 miles.

So off I went to start my run. Now the first mile isn’t my greatest as my stride is never comfortable, things just don’t feel right, and little aches and pains tend to pop up. They are actually saying…stop, go home, crawl back into that bed. But I keep at it.

The second mile is a bit better. I am beginning to get my stride, things feel better and those aches and pains are disappearing. So I tell myself. Yeah, I can do the third mile.

This one is easy mile 3. Everything feels fine. I feel like I could run forever. Mile 3 is the one that gives that extra push to go to mile 4.

At mile 4, I’m getting tired. Not real tired but I need to give myself a little pep talk. It goes like this…”You’ve done 4 miles, what is another 3?” Now for anyone who hasn’t run, you are probably saying “are you crazy?” But for us runners, we all do this. It’s no different than making that extra phone call to a customer. Or printing out another letter to a customer. Or writing that next line.

Now mile 5 is hard. I am tired. But I tell myself, only 2 more to go. You’ve done 5, so what is 2 more. By now, my body has started its little aches and pains. I mentally check each one to make sure it is not serious or if I can just adjust my stride, it may go away. This now becomes a mind game of that ache went away, oh another one popped up, what is that? Oh, it went away, too. And on it goes.

Mile 6 is both hard and easy. Hard becomes I am tired. My mind games are losing steam and those aches and pains are becoming more annoying.  (Please note, that if the pain or ache is too much, I do stop as I have no plans to re-injury myself. But only you can decide and your body will tell.) The easy part is I’m on mile 6 and I only have 1 more mile to go.

And finally mile 7 and I’m done! The joy of being able to run those 7 miles or whatever miles you have planned for that day are done. You now know that you can do this. And yes, you may have to re-train your mind each time but it does get easier.

Yes, I have to do 13.1 miles in September but for now the joy is being able to do the 7. This coming weekend will be 9 wth the following weekend going back down to 6. By focusing on the imediate smaller goal and taking joy that you did those, then the 13.1 miles won’t seem as daunting Also by then I would have done a 12 mile training run and it will be “so what is another 1.1 mile.”

Like in running as in life, we do hit those bumps, those roadblocks and those meanders. My bumps are the IT band and getting it stronger. My roadblock was my stress fracture. I can’t run until it healed. My meander was having to start over again slowly both times. I’ve learn that I need to do other type of training so that I can help prevent injuries.

But we also have the same in life. I’m in sales. And yes, I do have call reluctance. I admit I hate picking up that phone. I have to pysche myself up and sometimes it seems like it never works. But oh, how I love it when that person on the other line says, yes! Then I’m jumping up and down for joy. And I’m eager to make the next call.

So how do you push through when you hit those bumps, roadblocks or when the road meandars off in a different direction? We all have ways of getting ourselves back on track so please share with us.

Posted in Uncategorized | 2 Comments

Solo Traveling

Posted on August 18, 2010 by Betsm51

Have you ever solo traveled? I don’t mean going on a business trip, going to a work or pleasure related seminar, or traveling by yourself to meet up with friends or family.  I mean going some place, you’ve never been before for pleasure, all by yourself. In other words, from start to finish by yourself. No meeting up with friends or family for part of the trip nor having a business meeting before or after.

The reason I ask is I’ve been toying with this idea of traveling solo for a long time. But for some reason I just can’t get myself to do this. And that has been bothering me for some time now.

What is it that is stopping me? Men do it all the time. They take off, go camping by themselves, go skiing by themselves,  in the evening they feel comfortable sitting at a bar ordering a drink and having dinner. Is it the fact that they do more “sporty” type of things and then go to a bar to socialize with the bartenders? Or is it, they just think so much differntly than women do when it comes to safety issues. I do think women tend to be more skittish about traveling by oneself, Though the more I read, I’m finding that women are going all over the world by themselves. I’m impressed!

But for me, I keep searching for the reasons why I don’t. Here are some of them…should I tell someone I’m going away for like a weekend, is it safe to be by myself in this place, this part of town, this hotel, will I chicken out and eat all my major meals in my hotel room, I should stay home and work, I should stay home and do housework or yard work, I really shouldn’t spend the money. The list goes on…..

Yes, I should tell someone where I’m going as that just makes sense. Most places that I want to see are safe, like Victoria Island. And I should eat out for all my major meals. I can always take a book with me to read or my journal to write in. And yes, I do deserve a break from work, housework and yard work. And lastly, if I’ve saved the money for the trip, I should go and enjoy myself. Celebrate traveling by msyelf.

What got me really thinking about this is Groupon had this deal for Victoria Island Ferry Clipper. And it was almost in “My Stuff” until I realized that it was just for this summer.

But I have put in on my 60 by 60 list. It’s number 30, travel solo to someplace for the weekend. That someplace will most likely be Victoria Island next summer. I have always wanted to go there and just haven’t been. By next November, I will be able to cross that off. And maybe venture further afar in the near future.

So have you traveled solo? And if so, where? Did you find out anything new about yourself? What did you do? Did you eat your meals at fast food places or at bistros, restaurants, or in the hotel? 

I’d like to know. And if you have any suggestions on safety, what to look for, and/or what to do, please comment below.

Posted in 60by60, Goals, Journeys | Leave a comment