Did you grow up with a lot of truisms from your parents? Sayings like if you swallow that watermelon seed, you will grow a watermelon in your stomach? Or how about eat your carrots, they are good for your eyesight? When you travel always dress up, you never know who you will meet along the way. And that dress up for a young teenage lady was nylons (no panty hose, real nylons with those awful garters), high heals, and a dress for airplane trips that sometimes lasted up to 12+ hours.
But the two that have given me the most problems in my adult life were children are to be seen but not heard and you can do better.
Over the last few months I have noticed that those two sayings have somehow interfered with celebrating my accomplishments.
Please, don’t feel I was abused as a child. I had a wonderful childhood. One that most people never even dream to have. I saw the world, learnt about the world, and lived in 6 countries all before I turned 18. For a middle income family, we lived an upper middle class life-style. We had servants to pick up after us, there was essentially no money issues, and we went around the world more than once seeing the wonders of the world.
As I grew up, I realized that some of these “truisms” were just sayings that my parents believed in or just said. Similar to that one I always hated every time I wanted to do something and heard…”Because I say so.” Believe me when I tell you, that I have used that one on my daughter when she was growing up. I’m sure she hated it, too. And I still find that coming out of my mouth around my grandchildren.
But being seen but not heard was one that was drilled into my head so being quiet became more of a way of life for me. So much so that when other people are louder or seem quicker on their feet than me, I’m just politely quiet. Eventually, you find yourself not saying too much about yourself or contributing to the conversation. And if you don’t say anything, you are tagged as being shy. Or worse if people don’t really know you, how can they know what you want to achieve or have achieved so that they can celebrate your accomplishments with you?
As far as “you can do better”, that is a hard one to overcome. It makes you feel that anything you do just isn’t good enough. What exactly are we measuring up to? Yes, we can all do better but aren’t we allow to celebrate what we have just accomplished?
When we are made to feel that what we have just accomplished is not worth something to celebrate, how do we ever feel good when we do achieve our goals as adults? Or does it just become a let down since we are conditioned to feel like we should have done better? I know that I feel that way sometimes.
Two of my major goals on my 60 by 60 list are learning how to share my accomplishments instead of being quiet about them and celebrating them as I cross them off.
Do you have “truisms” that you have had to overcome? How did you overcome them? Do you find yourself saying those same things to your children when they were growing up or to your grandchildren?
Please share with us as celebrating our accomplishments, especially our small ones, allows us to reach higher.