At the end of June, I ran in the Rock and Roll Half Marathon. It was my second time to do this race. Both times, I have finished.
Last year, I ran, walked and almost crawled to the finish line as I didn’t realize that I had a stress fracture on the interior sesamoid bone behind and under my right toe. 13.1 miles is a long way to go when every step you take makes it almost impossible to put your foot flat to the ground to push off for the next step. I ended up running and walking on the outside of my right foot to compensate for the “hurt” factor. The fact that I somehow managed to finish the race was an amazing feat to everyone.
As I trained for this year’s race, I started to have problems but in different areas. Apparently in my recovery of my stress fracture, I found a new way to walk and run that put added pressure on my left leg. And as I added more miles to my training, the pain started to intensify.
This time, I took myself to physical therapy three weeks before this race where they noticed my “new” walk. They gave me exercises to do which I did religiously as well as told me that I had “weak” thighs. That means that my hips aren’t strong enough which then translates to “ow-ies” in the upper thigh muscles. But I did all their exercises and found that the “hurt” was going away.
The day of the race, I woke up feeling ready to run the 13.1 miles. I had already run 12 miles and felt good about that. I had run the hills around Seattle from 6 to 8 miles. I had done my runs during the week between the long runs on Saturdays. I was prepared. And I was going to run this as what was an extra 1.1 miles. After all like I said, we have done 12 miles with hills. And all I needed to do was an extra 13 to 14 minutes. I could tough that out whatever pain I felt by 12 miles.
My run started out well. The first 5 miles I felt great. The pace was good. My right foot where I had the stress fracture from last year didn’t even bother me. My thighs felt good. No pain. My knees felt good. I was excited.
Between mile 5 and 6, I started to slow down. I told myself, I just needed a slower pace to recover a bit before pushing on for the last half. As I neared mile 6, I walked for about a minute.
I ran miles 6 to 8 slower but ran them. But by mile 8, the GU gel that I had taken and also trained with was doing nasties to my intestines. I made a detour to the ladies room between mile 8 and 9. The stop didn’t help as as we all know, there is always a line at the ladies room.
By the time, I got to mile 9, I almost got my stride back. I entered the tunnel. By then, the pain that I had been ignoring in my right knee decided that it would intensify. I walked thinking that it was just a “silly” pain.
Mile 10 loomed ahead and I kept trying to run but the pain kept getting worse. I walked as fast as I could. I figured that I was probably walking as fast as I could run though I kept trying to run.
Unfortunately no amount of “You’re Betsy Moore, hear me roar, you will run this mile” could make me run and ignore the pain that had then started on the outside of my right knee, curled around under my knee cap before shooting down to the inside of my shin.
I made it down 2nd Avenue wishing I could cut across and enter the finish line that way. But my sense of honesty wouldn’t allow me to do that. Up on the Viaduct, I made a final push to run but I couldn’t do it. I decided to save whatever mental power I had left to run into the chute.
I finished this race in 3 hours 25 minutes and 24 seconds, about 10 minutes better than last year.
Both years, I accomplished finishing when I could have very easily given up because of the amount of pain I was feeling. Running injured and with pain takes a lot of mental fortitude. The mind and the body are amazing when we want to do something.
But the question begs to be asked. Why do I feel like I didn’t accomplish anything?
My perfection measuring stick says I didn’t because I didn’t “run” the whole race which was my goal. So therefore, I didn’t accomplish my goal.
But I just finished completing 13.1 miles by running and walking. I should be celebrating that. Instead I’m saying to myself that wasn’t good enough.
I have now done both races, an amazing feat. 13.1 miles is something most people won’t even contemplate whether it is running and/or walking or both. And I have done it both times, injured or in a lot of pain.
It is now time to celebrate and let others celebrate with me and at the same time, realize what I have done-two half marathons accomplished.
I have plans on doing the Bellingham Half at the end of September this year with Betsy Gray Talbot, my running buddy and best friend, plus I have already signed up for next year’s Rock and Roll Half Marathon.
My goal will be to finish the Bellingham Half regardless whether I run, walk, crawl or do a combination of all three. The Rock and Roll Half Marathon is still too far away to set a definite goal though the immediate goal will be to finish.
And that measuring stick, it should be a measuring stick of accomplishments as no one is perfect. But how do I completely switch from measuring everything I do against that stick of perfection?