Fine Tuning the List…But I Left Five Open for Suggestions

Posted on August 9, 2010 by Betsm51

The list is almost done! And that is mainly due to Warren and Betsy Talbot who brainstormed the last of list with me. We went through what I would like to see in the Puget Sound area to learning a foregin language and all the way to learning to play a musical instrument. The last two suggestions didn’t make it onto the list.

I did leave five items opened, numbers 51 – 55, for ideas from all who would like to give me suggestions. I won’t promise you your suggestions will make it onto my list but I would love to hear what you would suggest.

My list is a combination of work related, physical, spiritual, travel, and five very personal, private goals (numbers 56-60) that I wish to complete by the time I turn 60 in about a year and 3 months. 

There may be one or two items I may take off the list to replace with something else but my plan is to have the list “set” by my 59th birthday.

And yes, I have completed one goal which was number 35, learning to fly on a trapeze. And I do plan to have a couple more completed before I turn 59.

The goals are ones that I feel I can complete if I paid attention to the list, would stretch me both mentally and physically, would allow me to travel within reason, would allow me not to spend an enormous amount of money, and at the same time, and would not distract me from building my business.

So please make a suggestion or two so that I can fill in the last five and come along with me as I complete my 60 by 60.

While you are thinking about making suggestions to my list, don’t forget to write down your goals that you want to complete by your next birthday, end of year, or a set time.  And please share with us, your list. Maybe there is something that you want to do that someone else can help, support, and/or cheer you on.

Posted in 60by60, Goals | 4 Comments

Number 35-Trapeze Flying Crossed Off

Posted on August 4, 2010 by Betsm51

WOW!

Nothing can prepare you for this feeling. But I hope my little video will give some sense of how much fun this was.

I will do this again. If only to learn how to reach out and trust that the other person will catch you.

.

Posted in Uncategorized | 1 Comment

Inspiration

Posted on August 2, 2010 by Betsm51

We are all inspired by someone or something, whether it is to aspire to be like someone, achieve what that person has achieved, or we are inspired to change something.

I know I have been inspired in the last few years by Betsy Gray Talbot and Warren Talbot, Married with Luggage, to learn to live on less.

From them, I have learnt to look at my “possessions” in a totally new light. Things like, do I really need all of my mother’s 18 place setting china that my father gave to her as an anniversary present? Yes, it is beautiful and yes, it is worth some money as it was Made in Occupied Japan. But really, 18 place setting? My lifestyle doesn’t center around giving lavish dinner parties. And besides, I would be too scared I’d break a dish or two. By the way, that’s number 22 on my list (ship the 1/2 of the china to my sister)

I have also been inspired by Debbie Whitlock, Femme Finance, to stretch my wings as far as they can spread and don’t even stop then. Keep stretching.

She was the one who inspired me to take this plunge of 60 by 60. She did hers when she was turning 39. It was her 40 by 40. During that year and since then, I have been inspired by her growth not only in herself but in her business. She had bigdreams on her list and I know most of them came true and more. If I could achieve half of what she achieved and continues to achieve, I would be estatic.

Then there is Joyce Leslie, althetic extraordinaire.  I meet Joyce through running. We started running at the same pace and now she is outpacing me by more minutes than I care to admit.

But Joyce has been a great supporter of mine. She pushed me when I had the stress fracture to swim to keep in shape. But not only did she push me, she joined in. She pulled me into a Master Swim class where I swam with her for several months. I’m biking because of her and even taking a strength endurance class with her now. A lot of my want to be fit items are because of her. Check out numbers 7, 9, 13, 25, and 34.

Those are just some of the people that have inspired me and still inspire me to this day.  But I never realized or really thought I inspired others. But because of my 60 by 60 blog and putting it out there, I am finding I do inspire others.

Betsy Gray Talbot has told me numerous times that I inspired her to train for the 2010 Rock and Roll 1/2 marathon after I completed the 2009 Rock and Roll 1/2 marathon. And more importantly, running has changed her life. I think to myself, I did that???

This past week, Joyce Leslie announced to me that her daughter, Shanel Kemp, has been inspired by my 60 by 60 list and is already planning to put her list together for her  30 by 3. I am deeply touched.

Others have posted or commented that they have also wanted to achieve things in their lives that they just haven’t gotten to yet. My putting this all out there has inspired them to dust off their list and get going on them.

For those who have reached out and told me that I have inspired them, I am totally humbled.  

But please, look around you. I am sure that you have touched someone’s life in ways that are far more reaching than even you or them can imagine. So who have you inspired? How did it feel? And did you inspired someone today?

Posted in 60by60, Inspiration, Running | 5 Comments

Celebrating Your Accomplishments – Even the Small Ones

Posted on July 28, 2010 by Betsm51

Did you grow up with a lot of truisms from your parents? Sayings like if you swallow that watermelon seed, you will grow a watermelon in your stomach? Or how about eat your carrots, they are good for your eyesight? When you travel always dress up, you never know who you will meet along the way. And that dress up for a young teenage lady was nylons (no panty hose, real nylons with those awful garters), high heals, and a dress for airplane trips that sometimes lasted up to 12+ hours.

But the two that have given me the most problems in my adult life were children are to be seen but not heard and you can do better.

 Over the last few months I have noticed that those two sayings have somehow interfered with celebrating my accomplishments.

Please, don’t feel I was abused as a child. I had a wonderful childhood. One that most people never even dream to have. I saw the world, learnt about the world, and lived in 6 countries all before I turned 18. For a middle income family, we lived an upper middle class life-style. We had servants to pick up after us, there was essentially no money issues, and we went around the world more than once seeing the wonders of the world.

As I grew up, I realized that some of these “truisms” were just sayings that my parents believed in or just said. Similar to that one I always hated every time I wanted to do something and heard…”Because I say so.” Believe me when I tell you, that I have used that one on my daughter when she was growing up. I’m sure she hated it, too. And I still find that coming out of my mouth around my grandchildren.

But being seen but not heard was one that was drilled into my head so being quiet became more of a way of life for me. So much so that when other people are louder or seem quicker on their feet than me, I’m just politely quiet. Eventually, you find yourself not saying too much about yourself or contributing to the conversation. And if you don’t say anything, you are tagged as being shy. Or worse if people don’t really know you, how can they know what you want to achieve or have achieved so that they can celebrate your accomplishments with you?

As far as “you can do better”, that is a hard one to overcome. It makes you feel that anything you do just isn’t good enough. What exactly are we measuring up to? Yes, we can all do better but aren’t we allow to celebrate what we have just accomplished?

When we are made to feel that what we have just accomplished is not worth something to celebrate, how do we ever feel good when we do achieve our goals as adults? Or does it just become a let down since we are conditioned to feel like we should have done better? I know that I feel that way sometimes.

Two of my major goals on my 60 by 60 list are  learning how to share my accomplishments instead of being quiet about them and celebrating them as I cross them off.

Do you have “truisms” that you have had to overcome? How did you overcome them? Do you find yourself saying those same things to your children when they were growing up or to your grandchildren?

Please share with us as celebrating our accomplishments, especially our small ones, allows us to reach higher.

Posted in Accomplishments | Leave a comment

Putting the List Together

Posted on July 23, 2010 by Betsm51

When I first started putting together this list of 60 things to do by the time I am 60, I was excited and, at the same time, wondered what I would come up with.  But I also had this humongous fear I have been struggling with…what will people think?

For me that was a scary question and an even scarier answer until now. You see, I was brought up to always consider what other people will think. I lived overseas as my father worked for the government so my actions had consequences for his career. For every military and foreign service brat, this was just something we knew. And for me, it was drilled into my head.

So the question…what will people think, kept circling around my head along with these other similar thoughts:

  • People are telling me this is a great idea but they really think it’s stupid.
  • She is crazy to put herself out there so much.
  • Her list is stupid.

But as I continued, I decided to silence those thoughts and just push forward putting items that are important to me on the list. And to be extremely blunt, it is and has been fun to stretch myself with this list.

As my list has grown, there seems to be this energy/excitement around it, propelling me forward to not only get myself in better shape and to grow my business to where I want and where it should be but, more importantly, to embrace life in a different manner than I have been.

To give you an example: Today, I had a business coaching call with Clement Pepe which is nothing unusual in my world. But what came from it was this light bulb that went off. I shared with Clement that I was putting together my 60 by 60 list for the world to see as well as to write about it. We talked about it for a bit and how these negative thoughts, sometimes insidious thoughts, evade every aspect of our mind. And then, Clement shared with me this quote from William H. Johnsen “If it is to be, it is up to me.” In other words, I’m the cause. (Now #33 on my list.)

So all those thoughts about what people will think or how I think they are really thinking is me. I was the cause of those thoughts. 

I am now yanking my power back as I am no longer willing to give that power to someone else or those “people.”

Are you willing to take back your power? To truly embrace it? And if so, what is your plan?

Posted in 60by60 | 6 Comments

Asking for Help – A Surprising Phenomenon

Posted on July 18, 2010 by Betsm51

Help! What does that simple word mean to you?

My American Heritage Dictionary tells me that “help” means:

  • to get assistance
  • to contribute to the furtherance of’
  • promote; to change for the better
  • improve; to refrain from
  • avoid or resist (used in a negative way…can’t help)

I have struggled with this simple word most of my life. So I’m curious—what does “help” mean to you? Deep down inside of you where you hide all of your fears, insecurities? Is there a hidden meaning down there for that word for you?

I understand when you ask someone to “help” move a heavy box that you need assistance with. Or how about when you pay someone to help you with the yard work? That is helping you out.

What about asking someone to “promote” you? Or how about asking someone to “contribute to the furtherance of” some personal project? These types of “help” have a slightly, and sometimes a big, scary feel to them. You are asking someone to invest in improving your personal development in some way. Why do we resist and sometimes bury that feeling of “we are worthy of someone’s investment in us?”

The reason why I bring this up besides the fact I’ve struggled with this most of my life, is I want to have a 59th birthday party to celebrate the kick-off of my 60 by 60. I also want and know I’m going to need ” help” so that I can achieve some of my 60 things by the time I turn 60.

Now, yes, I can host my own birthday party but I don’t really want to be the “hostess” at my own party (there is probably a whole other post for that one). So after much intrepidation, I picked up the phone and asked for “help”.

The very nice Karen Rosenzweig, One Smart Cookie Marketing, without hesitation agreed to act the “hostess” for my party at her house. Her simple “yes” meant a lot to me, more than I could ever express to her.

But still even after that, why is it so hard to ask for “help” for those very personal needs? The ones we still need help, assistance, and that self-promotion for. What stops us from asking for that help?

Do the words unworthy, is it really that important, what if I fail come to mind? I know for me they do. But you are worthy, it is important to you, and so what if you fail. The truth be known, you are more likely to feel unworthy, unimportant and fail if you don’t ask for that help. And on top of that, how can someone help you, if they don’t know what you need?

In a weird, roundabout way, by not asking you are essentially allowing the other person to assume that all is well. You, somehow, have decided that you are superwoman or man.

But if you learn to ask for that “help”, you might just run into this surprise phenomenon. People genuinely want to help you get to where you want to go.

That is what I’ve learnt these past couple of weeks as I have talked about some of the items on my 60 by 60 list.

Debbie Whitlock, Donna Canterna, Sylvia Taylor, Peggy (the Spirited Woman), and Warren Talbot (if he is still here when we do this) all want skydive with me. David Zarza and Betsy Talbot (if she is still here) want to be our cheering squad when we land. Debbie Whitlock wants to go on the silent retreat with me. Joyce Leslie, Donna Canterna, Debbie Whitlock, and David Zarza all want to run the Rock and Roll 1/2 Marathon with me next year.

And those are just three things on my list of 60!

Asking for help—it is a very surprising phenomenon. I’m totally humbled by all the people who are offerning to help, support, and cheer me on as I begin my journey of 60 by 60.

So what is stopping you from asking for help? Take a moment or two or even a day or two to think about that. Dig deep down. Give it a chance to percolate up. You may be surprised with what you discover about yourself. Regardless of what you hear, I promise you, it is not as scary as you think.

Now take a deep breath and ask for help from someone you feel won’t say no. Start with little steps, not big giant ones. By learning to exercise that “help” muscle, you will be pleasantly surprised with how quickly you realize those dreams/goals/things you want to achieve.

Posted in 60by60, Goals, Running | Leave a comment

The Perfection Measuring Stick

Posted on July 13, 2010 by Betsm51

At the end of June, I ran in the Rock and Roll Half Marathon. It was my second time to do this race. Both times, I have finished.

     Last year, I ran, walked and almost crawled to the finish line as I didn’t realize that I had a stress fracture on the interior sesamoid bone behind and under my right toe. 13.1 miles is a long way to go when every step you take makes it almost impossible to put your foot flat to the ground to push off for the next step. I ended up running and walking on the outside of my right foot to compensate for the “hurt” factor. The fact that I somehow managed to finish the race was an amazing feat to everyone.

 As I trained for this year’s race, I started to have problems but in different areas. Apparently in my recovery of my stress fracture, I found a new way to walk and run that put added pressure on my left leg. And as I added more miles to my training, the pain started to intensify.

 This time, I took myself to physical therapy three weeks before this race where they noticed my “new” walk. They gave me exercises to do which I did religiously as well as told me that I had “weak” thighs. That means that my hips aren’t strong enough which then translates to “ow-ies” in the upper thigh muscles. But I did all their exercises and found that the “hurt” was going away.

The day of the race, I woke up feeling ready to run the 13.1 miles. I had already run 12 miles and felt good about that. I had run the hills around Seattle from 6 to 8 miles. I had done my runs during the week between the long runs on Saturdays. I was prepared. And I was going to run this as what was an extra 1.1 miles. After all like I said, we have done 12 miles with hills. And all I needed to do was an extra 13 to 14 minutes. I could tough that out whatever pain I felt by 12 miles.

My run started out well. The first 5 miles I felt great. The pace was good. My right foot where I had the stress fracture from last year didn’t even bother me. My thighs felt good. No pain. My knees felt good. I was excited.

 Between mile 5 and 6, I started to slow down. I told myself, I just needed a slower pace to recover a bit before pushing on for the last half. As I neared mile 6, I walked for about a minute.

 I ran miles 6 to 8 slower but ran them. But by mile 8, the GU gel that I had taken and also trained with was doing nasties to my intestines. I made a detour to the ladies room between mile 8 and 9. The stop didn’t help as as we all know, there is always a line at the ladies room.

By the time, I got to mile 9, I almost got my stride back. I entered the tunnel. By then, the pain that I had been ignoring in my right knee decided that it would intensify. I walked thinking that it was just a “silly” pain.

Mile 10 loomed ahead and I kept trying to run but the pain kept getting worse. I walked as fast as I could. I figured that I was probably walking as fast as I could run though I kept trying to run.

 Unfortunately no amount of “You’re Betsy Moore, hear me roar, you will run this mile” could make me run and ignore the pain that had then started on the outside of my right knee, curled around under my knee cap before shooting down to the inside of my shin.

I made it down 2nd Avenue wishing I could cut across and enter the finish line that way. But my sense of honesty wouldn’t allow me to do that. Up on the Viaduct, I made a final push to run but I couldn’t do it. I decided to save whatever mental power I had left to run into the chute.

     I finished this race in 3 hours 25 minutes and 24 seconds, about 10 minutes better than last year.

Both years, I accomplished finishing when I could have very easily given up because of the amount of pain I was feeling. Running injured and with pain takes a lot of mental fortitude. The mind and the body are amazing when we want to do something.

But the question begs to be asked. Why do I feel like I didn’t accomplish anything?

My perfection measuring stick says I didn’t because I didn’t “run” the whole race which was my goal. So therefore, I didn’t accomplish my goal.

But I just finished completing 13.1 miles by running and walking. I should be celebrating that. Instead I’m saying to myself that wasn’t good enough.

I have now done both races, an amazing feat. 13.1 miles is something most people won’t even contemplate whether it is running and/or walking or both.  And I have done it both times, injured or in a lot of pain.

It is now time to celebrate and let others celebrate with me and at the same time, realize what I have done-two half marathons accomplished.

I have plans on doing the Bellingham Half at the end of September this year with Betsy Gray Talbot, my running buddy and best friend, plus I have already signed up for next year’s Rock and Roll Half Marathon.

My goal will be to finish the Bellingham Half regardless whether I run, walk, crawl or do a combination of all three. The Rock and Roll Half Marathon is still too far away to set a definite goal though the immediate goal will be to finish.

And that measuring stick, it should be a measuring stick of accomplishments as no one is perfect. But how do I completely switch from measuring everything I do against that stick of perfection?

Posted in Accomplishments, Goals, Running | Leave a comment